When characters talk back…

I had to work this out for a friend in a conversation, so I thought I’d share. The story I’ve been talking about lately? (You remember the one which gave me naming panic? That story.)

Let me show you how some of the revision went in dialogue form. Remember, Jules is the narrator of this story and it starts with a quote.

Jules: “We were snuggling on her parents’ bed — I know what you’re thinking and just don’t. That’s gross.”
Me: Who’re you talking to?
Jules: … No one.
Me: Then why is it there?!
Jules: ’cause that’s what I want to say.
Me: But, but — Narrative. You’re asexual. If you’re talking to yourself, that doesn’t make sense.
Jules: But I’m not talking to myself. I’m not talking to anyone.
Me: But, but –
Jules: It stays.
Me: But, but –
Jules: I like it.
Me: But, but — I’ll get that line out of the story, Jules! And its little dog too!
Jules: o_O

(Pity I actually genuinely like that bit of the narrative as much as I do because I do think it’s got to go somehow.)

I thought I’d give you all some stats about the story too. Word count according to Scrivener:

Draft 1: 2007 words
Draft 2: 5480 words
Draft 3: 7092 words

So yes that kind of exploded in my face a little bit. But, on the plus side, I think I’m at the point where I can actually start trimming it? I did need all those words to make the story work properly and it’s only after you get to that point that you can really start trimming words effectively. Well, when I can anyway. Otherwise I’m just making sure I need to add them or other words back into the thing later on.

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