A few days ago, Cheryl from Tales of the Marvellous blogging about her blogging history. It’s an interesting topic and, like was pointed out in the comments, not something we always know about bloggers. It’s something that I certainly haven’t really talked about before, even though I know I’ve alluded to it in past posts. I figured it was worth talking about. Or, at least, elaborating on a little and seeing where I wound up. ^-^ I hope it’ll be interesting to others as well!
This blog isn’t the first blog I’ve started, but I started it in October, 2012 when I decided that it really was high time to try and build a professional presence and DreamWidth, much as I love it, has a fair few hoops with its openID comments. I started out reposting just my short fiction because it’s what I’d been posting on DreamWidth. (Which, if you’re curious, I created in 2010.)
I actually started blogging on LiveJournal as a way to keep in touch with some of my friends way back in about 2003. From that, somewhere around 2006 I morphed into book blogging, which I did until burnt out on it in 2011/2012 in various places. I blogged about every single book I read, I tried to comment on all the people’s posts all the time. Even now, deliberately keeping things small-scale, I find myself struggling to do all the things. I want to talk about books and usually hide. I want to talk about games and usually hide. It’s not just that I’ve burnt out on doing these things, but that my anxiety issues have increasingly gotten worse. One of the reasons I started book blogging was to make sure the anxiety didn’t steal my ability to interact with the outside world. It was a way to make sure I didn’t clam up and wouldn’t hide in my safe little bubble at a time where I was growing increasingly introverted.
I’m still struggling to step out of that safe little bubble again, and I never even got more than halfway into it. So I blog about things as I work up the ability to and try not to worry about whether I should have a schedule. I try not to worry about the fact that my anxiety frequently keeps me from blogging about things. I try to blog about my anxiety. (This is the fourth or fifth time I’ve attempted this post. We’ll see if this is the charm.) I try not to worry about anything and just be me, blogging about the things that interest me and commenting when I have something interesting to say. I try not to worry about how many (or how few) comments I get because, ultimately, I blog for me. I blog because I have words that want out. I blog because I write, and whether that writing is fiction or nonfiction is irrelevant. Today, this moment, the words that I want to write are nonfiction and they are about the blogging history I come from as well as the place I want to get to again.
And that is fine. The demon chorus (look! I finally found something other than “brain weasels”!) will not eat this post too. It will not eat the ones I’ve worked on in the past few days. It may rewrite them. It may try to eat them, but I will find a way to make it spit the words back out, so I can share them.
It will be tiring, but hopefully it’ll get easier. Maybe I’ll even work up to giving my opinions on bigger things, such as politics. (Not likely, ha!) Who knows. We’ll see. Start small and build it up.
So. That’s what my blog is about. Sometimes it’s about books. Sometimes it’s about my writing. Sometimes it’s about silly things and linkspam. Sometimes it’s serious. And sometimes it’s scary as scary can be.
Er… That kind of drifted away from my blogging history, didn’t it? But it’s all a bit tangled up. I tried to talk about books more often and burnt out not two months in. So regular book blogging posts just aren’t going to be happening for a while, maybe never. I certainly won’t be talking about them in a nice and organised fashion the way I used to. That way leads burn-out. I’m still trying to figure out a structure that gives the reviews the information people need whilst being a free enough format that I don’t go screaming for the hills. And, of course, there is all the writing I’m doing or planning to do. I’m trying to convince my brain to talk about the projects more openly (if only in hopes of finishing more things if I do), but so far it’s not really listening.
We’ll see. I’m trying to get into a bit of a blogging schedule despite what I said above, not so much because I want a schedule but because I want to get back into the habit of blogging publicly. That’s the big thing: blogging publicly. I’m good at private/friends-only blogging. Public blogging… not so much.
So I guess I’d best wrap this up and actually post this. (Meep.) It’ll be… interesting. And I’ll happily take suggestions for blog posts! I may rerun a few I posted on DreamWidth too. That might be interesting (and help). We’ll see.
For now: drop me topic suggestions!