And after a long, long hiatus, I am back! Took me long enough. To be fair, I’ve kind of been putting off this episode in particular more than anything. I just… am wary of it, given the titles it has. And then I decided to just hold off for a while and gather up a bunch of episodes, so I’d have a nice buffer and this wouldn’t happen again. Fair warning, unlike Sailor Moon Crystal S3, there will be no screencap pictures. Sorry!
To recap what has happened so far (which is, thankfully, not much): Serena saved a talking cat and discovered that she is Sailor Moon, a rather reluctant scout who fights for love and justice and thwarts the Negaverse in their attempts to secure energy from humans to take over the world.
And now let’s dive in after a small correction I’ve kindly been given: the DiC dub is actually Canadian rather than American. (North American TV is confusing!)
Episode 3: Slim City
You know, as much as I hate the scrolling text in the opening (I mean, really?), I do actually like opening with the seven demons this way. I know, I know, evil-looking eye opening is cliché and boring, but I like the menace of it and I think the show pulls it off.
Also, can I just ask, have the lyrics writers met Sailor Moon? Running away from a fight is about the first thing she tries. She hates fighting. (And yes, okay, I know. She does fight and save the day. A lot. And she really won’t turn away when she’s needed, BUT STILL. Her first instinct is always to find another way, not to fight.) Anyway, I probably should leave off being annoyed at the lyrics for no reason other than that I’m grumpy. (It may have been a mistake to watch this episode right after watching the finale of Stars.)
I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS OPENING GIVING AWAY THE SEASON FINALE. Sorry. I just. I won’t.
I won’t. I can’t. I know I’m rewatching the opening to settle into the US version, but I just. I CANNOT WITH THE FINALE CLIPS. There are so many others to choose from. I mean, even cut down by DiC, the show is 40 episodes long and the people who put together the opening couldn’t find any non-spoilery clips for this?
Also, that is a moon you’re showing up when the lyrics go ‘daylight’ there. It is very clearly NOT DAYLIGHT. *grumps* Ahem. Moving on!
*twitches* I can’t. No. I can’t. I can’t. I. No. I can’t with this scene. First of all, Serena is fourteen. Of course she’s going to gain weight, SHE’S STILL GROWING. Secondly, no matter how you look at it she’s massively overreacting. And, look. I’m slim. I’ve always been slim and I admit it’s a big part of my self-image because society made it such. I know that gaining weight is scary for slim people. But, like, it generally doesn’t happen over a small increase in weight like this? It wobbles a bit. Which Serena would know if she regularly weighs herself like the scene suggests she does. Do you know what’s a lot scarier than a number? Suddenly noticing you can’t fit into your favourite clothes because you can’t zip them up anymore. Spotting a bulge around your tummy area where there used to be flatness. Physical clues that you’ve gained weight. Those are scary. Numbers on a scale? Especially a small increase? Not panic-worthy. Especially not for someone like Serena because, I stress this, she is fourteen and still growing. Becoming taller means more body mass which means more weight. For all Serena knows she’s just grown the equivalent of the weight she’s gained and all of it is bone.
But do her parents point this out to her? No. They make fun of it and also assume it’s some sort of issue that needs fixing. Honestly, I really don’t blame Serena for bursting into tears at their reaction. I would too. That’s a horrible way to react.
ET TU, LUNA?!
At least the Negaverse sort-of has an excuse? Episode, you had better give me the social commentary I want. I AM COUNTING ON YOU, EPISODE!
… I’m going to be disappointed, aren’t I?
At least someone is sensible about this. Pity it’s a bit part character whom we’ll likely never see again. Also, don’t eat nothing. I mean, fast if you want to and know what you’re doing sure, but don’t eat nothing.
… Um… Doesn’t Haruna look exactly the same as she did in other episodes? Oh, timely before and after pictures by resident creeper Melvin.
No, Serena. No, that is not weird. That is CREEPY.
Girls, I think the first thing you all should do is see a dietician. Also an instructor who can put together a proper exercise plan for you. At which point they will both have a good conversation about the fact that you’re all being silly and need to listen to thingie’s mother who actually has some sensible suggestions on what to do if you’re all that worried about your weight.
Jadeite joins the creepy club! He also joins the “I have no idea how to set up proper fitness plans” club. Neither are a surprise. And to be fair on him he doesn’t really want to create a proper fitness plan for his, uh, customers. Like, I would have thought it would improve his business and the energy gain even more, but apparently we’re going for “Let’s push everyone way beyond their limit so they faint and MAGIC weight loss ensues”? Or something like that.
o_O Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat is that? And why is everyone game to try the creepy dark basement pods? They’re so easily won over.
No, Jadeite. No. That’s not a good one. You just spoke to the most gullible girls ever.
I… am going to get so tired of the scene switching shenanigans. Just switch. Don’t do your so-90s graphics display.
Serena, fitness is not the cause of your stumbling rumbling. That would be the NOT EATING thing.
RUN AWAY, RANDOM TODDLER.
Oh, good. He actually ran away.
Hypocrite much, Serena? You wanted to steal his donuts.
Wait, what? Show. Show. Show. Fainting doesn’t work like that. Fainting of hunger doesn’t work like that. Also, maybe don’t recommend the person deliberately starving herself to eat too much in one go?
FAINTING DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT. It’s more like you blink. Except your surroundings have changed in between that blink.
THANK YOU, ANDREW. SOMEONE IS TALKING SENSE AT LAST.
*SCREAMS* I CANNOT WITH THIS EPISODE WHY AM I WATCHING THIS MAKE IT STOP SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP PLEASE.
Luna, you are terrible at peptalks. But we’re going to fight the Negaverse now? No more excruciatingly bad commentary on weight or fatphobia? Can we be done with that? Please?
Luna. Luna, Luna, Luna. Do you know what would have helped Serena here? You not making fun of her and taking her concerns seriously enough to have an actual conversation about them wherein you use facts and sense to tell her why her reasons make no sense and which make her feel like you were listening and cared about her feelings and life.
Also, I have a question. If everyone feels horrible after coming out of the ‘relaxation pods’, why do they keep coming back? I mean, I could understand if the story was that they were weightloss aids and were supposed to tire you out, but they’re supposed to relax you (and thus give you more energy, not less).
Wow, Luna. I admit I have no idea why you thought it was necessary to jump Serena like that. I know you had a fight, but this seems a bit overkill on the “listen to me” front.
Oh, yes. By all means, let us transform in the hallway of a used building where anyone passing by can see us transform (and talk to a cat). There is absolutely NO WAY in which this could POSSIBLY go horribly wrong. (We know it won’t, but seriously why? It’s not like we don’t know Melvin’s been creeping around with a camera taking pictures. He could just as easily snap some of Serena/Sailor Moon.)
Wait, how did she manage to get out of being surrounded? And how big is this basement?
Oh, hey. A Sailor Moon Says section that I don’t actually mind. I know this is an addition to make up for cut footage length, but I do wish that the episode itself had done a better job of including this information. It’s important information and kids deserve better than to have it handled the way it was here.